Is your dad boring?

IF so, I feel bad for you, because mine isn’t. Say what you will about him, (and many have) boring is not an adjective that could ever be used to describe my father.

For this reason, we had a very entertaining two weeks when my dad visited us in September. I may have been at times exasperated, perplexed, and/or irritated, but I was never bored.  My dad is the type of person who really knows things–someone who could talk at length with authority on a great many number of subjects–and he has the experience to back it up.

This is only a problem if you don’t feel like listening.

He also can truthfully say that he is a rocket scientist, and has worked for companies with well-known names like “NASA” and also companies with questionable sounding names like “GYRATION.”

Side note: I was a secretary at the latter company one summer, and it does take some skillful elocution to answer the phones and make sure you are pronouncing the name of the company like a noun, not a verb.

I thought I would compose this post in the honor of his visit as a sort of quiz.  If you know my dad, then you have an excellent chance of scoring well. Even if you don’t know my dad, but may have a similarly non-boring (some might say eccentric) father, then you have a pretty good chance of not flunking.

Take the poll, just for fun. However, if you are competitive, you may want to jot down your answers to compare with the real answers which will be provided right after the question. (Try not to scroll down until you’ve voted, as the pictures may give it away).

Note on scoring:

2 points per correct answer.

Some incorrect answers may still receive 1 point.  I’ve allowed a few write-in answers, which will award you a bonus point.   Prizes to the winners, so leave your score in the comments section. Scout’s honor, now- my dad is a former Scoutmaster!

Sharpen your clicking finger and let’s go!

1. 

1. A- 2 pts.

If you selected any other answer, give yourself 1 point, because capable of ALL of those projects, we just didn’t have time.  Plus I don’t have a backyard for 13 fruit trees…but maybe someday!

The sanding was NOT Fiona's favorite part of the project.

Fiona much preferred painting...

...herself!

Grandpa Daryl really wanted her to be part of the process.

They made a really good team.

2.  

Correct answer is C.

When my dad saw that Rijen and I had filled our water glasses up with ice, he complimented us.  Not really the first thing I would have thought which would get such  approval, but hey, I will take it.  Compliments from my father are elusive and sometimes you have to think about them a while to figure out whether it was a compliment or a complaint.  This one was clear though.

He kind of also approved of my dishes, but with the caveat that they weren’t corning-ware. That would have brought high marks.  I realize that my dad favors function over form, and I strive for a suitable combination of the two, with probably form winning out. I’m sure that irritates engineers.

My dad does NOT approve of my hair color change, btw. Minus ONE point if you chose that.

3. 

D.  All of the above occured, although “A” was the most noteworthy.

Give yourself 1 point if you chose A or B. Give yourself 2 points if you have ever EATEN pickle relish on Tacos (or vow to do so next time you have a taco- trust me, it’s actually good!) and 2 if you chose D, the correct answer.

4. 

Correct answer: B- 2 pts

Of all the museums that we could have gone to in Austin, I was happy that my dad chose to go to the Children’s museum with Fiona.  She was a little overwhelmed with all the kids and interactive displays. I felt like she did best when my dad worked with her one-on-one, like this:

It was funny though, when my dad approached the cashier at the gift shop to ask about Gyros.  Unfortunately, they did not have any at the moment…to which I was afraid that my dad was going to reach into his pocket and launch into a demonstration of his Gyro mouse which he has been rumored to keep with him at all times.

5.  

Answer: C.  Enough said.

6. 

This is one of the things I love about my dad: He can take a hanger and 2 clementines and come up with something really cool. I would never have thought to do this.

Physics in action!

7. 

Correct answer: D- 2pts. 1 point if you chose B or C, and also 2 points if you chose A, since this was his biggest complaint. I just found it a bit ironic that when he would start into his harangue about the dance music being too loud at the dances, his voice would get louder and louder too!

8.

Although “D” is somewhat true, (1pt) the correct answer is “B.”

Again, very impressed that my dad was able to open the VCR, figure out what was wrong and fix it.  We wanted to watch old VHS tapes he brought, but the VCR had stopped working. I was going to just buy a cheap one, but it was even cheaper (and greener) that he could fix it.  Thanks dad!

9. 

Correct answer: B- 2pts.

I will never forget the night when my mom went grocery shopping, leaving Steffan, my dad and I in the car. Somehow, my dad came up with the idea of doing animal sounds in a totally different way.  He started wondering, “How would a horse imitate a cow?”  And then launched into an incredible, eerily accurate rendition of exactly what that might sound like.

It is hard to describe, but feel free to try and replicate it yourself- it can provide endless entertainment.  (Cat imitating dog, chicken imitating a sheep..endless possibilities for channeling animal comedians.) And if you ever have the opportunity to, you must ask my dad to demonstrate in person. Maybe next time I can get it on tape.

Also, 1 point if you KNOW the 2000 lb canary joke. (Canary/parrot, whichever you think is funnier)

For those of you who don’t know it:

Q: What does a 2000 lb canary  say?

A: CHIRP (shouted at the top of your lungs).

P.S. This joke is best said while on a ski lift in Utah.

10.

C. Grey’s Anatomy!  2pts!

I was floored that my dad watches this show, but I was really happy to have someone to watch the premiere with me.  The Good Wife is his show, and he didn’t really like any of the other TV shows we watched, although he was a very good sport to watch them with us, since he was here when all the premieres aired.  I thought he might appreciate Survivor, being a Scout enthusiast, but the reality aspect of the show does not appeal to him at all.

Addendum to original post: When Rijen read this last night, he reminded me that when we questioned my dad as to why he watches Grey’s Anatomy (as I don’t think he really fits the show demographics exactly) he replied that he, “needed to fill his medical show quota after ER ended).  Trust my Dad to make TV watching sound scientific.  Also, I should note that my dad’s favorite show is Charlie Rose.   

11.

B. Waffles with walnuts. 2 pts.

One of the achievements I hope to accomplish in my life is to be “known” for some recipe that people always want me to make. (Maybe my mac & cheese?) My dad is FAMOUS for his waffles made from scratch & he always makes them with or without nuts.

The pictures here are making pancakes though, not waffles. I was too busy eating waffles to take pictures the time he made them.  He does make good crepe-like pancakes too!

Fiona is put to work.

"What do I do next?"

All dads make Mickey Mouse Pancakes.

12. 

D- 2pts This was a trick question, so give yourself 1 pt. if you chose any of the others.  A, B, and C are true, but they are stories I have previously heard.  D was a new one.

SO, I was kind of shocked to find out that it was standard course for the boys to swim nude during gym class when my dad attended L.A. High.  The way my dad described it, there were two separate pool facilities for the girls and the boys. For whatever reason (can anyone explain this to me?) the guys all swam naked.  Have I stated this enough times in this paragraph?!! Everyone was swimming without clothes!! At school!!!

My first question to my dad was, “So did the girls do their swimming lessons in the nude as well?” My dad (to his credit?) did not know the answer to that.  I asked him tons of follow up questions and I guess that it wasn’t that big of a deal back then and there was absolutely no way that anyone could get into or see into the pool area when these nude classes were in session. Can you imagine? My dad said that jumping off the diving board wasn’t fun though.  For another story about him skinny dipping, you will have to ask him in person….

Ok after typing this, I had to fact check, and the excellent source Wikipedia has this to say on the matter:

Before the YMCA began to admit females in the early 1960s, swimming trunks were not even allowed in the pools,[5] and high school swimming classes for boys sometimes had similar policies, citing the impracticality of providing and maintaining sanitary swimming gear and clogging swimming pools’ filtration systems with lint fibers from the swimsuits. These practices were common because of the perception that there was nothing wrong or sexual about seeing members of the same gender in the nude, especially in these indoor contexts among equals in ‘birthday suituniform’. In some areas, this extended well into the early 1970s.

13. 

Perfect shirt for Dad's "stuff."

A- 2pts, D-1pt.  I remember when I was in high school and wanted to shop at Banana Republic, my dad had complaint “D.”  So I was relieved that he was willing to go into the store when we went shopping together and actually liked the shirt I picked out for him.

Although he just couldn’t resist airing his grievance about the pockets to the lady who, to her credit, politely checked him out without comment.  To his credit, he was self-aware enough to admit to her that he knew that she couldn’t do anything about it.

So, to any BR design execs who are reading this post: MAKE YOUR SHIRT POCKETS BIGGER FOR ALL OF YOUR CUSTOMERS WHO LIKE TO PUT LOTS OF THINGS IN THEM!

Congratulations! You made it to the end of Dad’s quiz.  Time to tally up your points. Don’t forget, if you wrote in any answers, you get a bonus point.  

25-32 points: Is your name Steffan?

Congratulations! You must know my dad well, or have a dad much like him. 

17-24: Very Good!

Are you a well-read single woman between the age of 50-65 who enjoys hiking, photography, needs a brand-new garage door, is a good listener and may be looking for a serious relationship? If so, contact me. 

9-16: Average

You need to spend some time pruning fruit trees with my dad. I’ll email you his address. 

1-8: Poor Performance

You must have a boring dad. My sympathies are with you.  

Leave your score in the comments and I will award you your prizes!

Grand Prize:  The current contents of my dad’s suit blazer and pants pockets. There is bound to be a jolly rancher or two, and maybe even a tootsie roll.  (wrapper optional).

Runner up: The secret to dad’s never ending orange juice. I did finally figure it out.

All who participate: I will give you my dad’s famous waffle recipe. Just make sure you add walnuts, they really make them delicious.

Thanks for playing!

14 responses to “Is your dad boring?

  1. Might have to nominate this post as top for 2011, tho there was only one cute Fiona video and it was kinda short. I sorta stopped keeping track of my point score, but I think I missed 3…What toy he created (went with model train.. i’ve never seen this coatwire trick before… old dog new tricks?? or maybe he never had a few clementines when we were growing up!), Which Item he fixed for under $3 (Went w/waffle iron, fixing a VHS player tho maybe could be that niche career choice he needs!), and then the story one… that was a bit of a shocker, never came up I guess! Oh I guess I didn’t really know the TV show, i had it down to the last two.. but I didn’t know what the 4th option was so I went with that. Darn! In my defense I got all the classic Dad ones right.

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  2. I need to meet your father! And I agree, that has to be the top post for 2011. Very entertaining. So even though I’ve never met him, I know for a fact he isn’t boring since a blog post about him isn’t boring.
    Not sure of my score, but I think I missed 4 of them. But I have to admit, I was reading it via google reader, so it didn’t have the long quiz section, so I could see the answers easily, even though I tried very hard not to. Basically, I just want the recipe.

    Like

  3. Hey Megan – it’s Jen Davis (Packer now). LOVE this post. Makes me crack up. I remember your father well. What a character :) What a great post to honor your father. I cracked up about so many – especially the swimming in the nude. He seems to be a wonderful grandfather. Hope you all are doing well :)

    Like

  4. 17!! LOVED this post!!!! Hilarious, clever and spot on! I am glad I didn’t score in the boring dad category since that would clearly not work for me. As for swimming nude, both my parents claim they did the same in high school. Shocking, I agree. When I couldn’t believe it they even looked at me like it was weird that I didn’t think that was normal.

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  5. 21…….Obviously, I spend a lot of time with your dad! Some of the questions made me laugh heartily. He had a great time visiting with you…and speaks fondly of opportunities to visit with both you and Steffan…a happy part of his life.

    Like

  6. I didn’t keep track but I think I only missed two or three, not counting the one I accidentally saw the answer to. Daryl is a fun friend to know and is a very creative dater. Thanks for sharing his visit with us.

    Vivian

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  7. That was a wonderful tribute to your dad, Megan. I added up 85 points, but maybe I did it wrong. I also think that he is an interesting fellow, and a good friend.

    Randy Winn

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  8. I have to congratulate you on your questions and answers! I must say that I DID know the answer about the naked swimming because I had heard that story before from MY dad!!!! Your dad is at our house right now, so he insisted we try taking the quiz. Apparently he is proud of it!!! (by the way, I love the comments associated with the totals at the end of the quiz!)

    Like

  9. Megan, obviously it is embarrassing to even acknowledge that my score is only 16, since he and I shared the same bedroom for quite a few years. But in my defense, I had no idea that you would not be a “Good Wife” fan, since I did know that it was Daryl’s favorite show. I can also confirm the swimming class story because I went to the same school and was privileged enough to swim in the same pool, also in the nude. But the best part is that there was a long hallway between the locker room and the pool and we would run full speed down the hallway and dive into the pool at the start of the class. One day, somehow the schedule got mixed up and it wasn’t the boys turn to use the pool and the first group of boys were in the pool before they noticed the girls at the other end of the pool! BTW, girls were allowed to wear swimsuits, but not boys. Now for the reason–the school did not trust the boys to wring out their suits and take them home to dry out rather than sit in the locker all week to mildew (at least that’s the reason they gave us!).

    And because I took the quiz in his presence I received a performance of the animal impressions of other animals. It’s odd that I had never heard about that but the concept must have been invented during his married life.

    Now, if you want to expand the quiz to the pre-1978 era, I could provide you with a few choice questions, but I will leave you one here: Being fully aware of Daryl’s athletic prowess and his high level of interest in sports, what varsity sport did Daryl participate in during his high school years?

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  11. Re Garry McMurrin
    I attended LA High School in the late 1950s and can confirm that, indeed, the boys swam naked. The reason given that the boys would keep their swim suits in their lockers is total bs. As I recall, the school handed out tank suits to the girls which they collected after each swim session. They could have handed out swim suits to the boys and collected them after each session. The real reason was selective service, the object being to get any boys who were bashful or uncomfortable about being naked in front of other boys used to the idea as there is little use for modesty in the armed forces.

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